The bar scene is not my scene

Going to that club on Saturday night was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’d been out to places like that with my brother in the past and pretty much had the same experience. So, what made me think that things would be any different this time around?

There are so many things working against a guy like me in a place like that. Where would I begin? I suppose if I were to sum it all up, I would have to say that I’m not the typical night-club patron. I don’t fit the profile.

Nightclubs are just one big competition, where looks count for everything, period. There is absolutely no way that a below average looking guy stands a chance. That’s pretty unfair, because there is a lot more to a person than looks. Some of us have wonderful personalities that are never discovered and shared by others because we cannot get our foot in the door.

Who says looks aren’t important?

While at the club, I spent a lot of time standing around, observing things. I got so good that I could tell what kind of reception a guy would get based on his looks and her looks. Amazingly, I was almost always dead on. Let’s face it, you have 2 seconds to make your impression, and quite often it’s based on your looks only. You don’t even have to say a word to be accepted or rejected.

The floor of a nightclub is just one big open market. It is a non-stop parade of people strutting their stuff in front of others, trying to get the attention of the best looking guy/girl in their looks category. Oh, and don’t ever think about making a move for someone outside of your category unless you thrive on humiliation.

The club is generally dominated by the best looking people in the crowd. They get all the attention (without even trying) and have their choice of partners. The fact that they won the genetic lottery by being born “good-looking” is envious. It’s not like they even had to work for it. And yes, I am jealous. I wish it was me - lucky bastards.

Sorry, this attitude is not helping.

My biggest complaint, though, is the volume level of the music in these places. I consider myself a pretty good conversationalist, and I’ve been told that I am interesting to listen to. I often wonder if things would be different without the music. If I had a chance to speak to people, would things be any different?

Who am I kidding? The expectations of many women in these clubs are out of this world and looks would still be the deciding factor.

Ok, now for the good news: Most of us don’t meet in clubs, and I am so thankful for that. If, in order to get a date, I had no choice but to compete in a nightclub with all the pretty boys of the world, I surely would be in trouble. I’d have to resign myself to the fact that I’d be alone for the rest of my life. Sad, but true.