Getting out socially

Bars and pickup spots are not my thing. Even if I do eventually get to the point where I feel comfortable, I still don’t think this is the best way to meet people. While there is a lot to be said for instant chemistry, I prefer to get to know people as well. There is so much more to a person than just physical appearance. Now, I’m not saying that you couldn’t meet the girl of your dreams in a nightclub. It’s just that, in my case, the odds would be slim.

The thing with noisy clubs is that physical appearance dominates the stage. Generally, the music is so loud that people have little else to work with. It’s not like you can start up a conversation and introduce yourself – shouting in someone’s ear is not my idea of a stimulating conversation. Without the ability to converse, physical appearances are vital. Having the right look can speak volumes without having to say a word. I know - I’ve seen it happen many times. Some guys just have the right look – a way to communicate effectively without saying anything.

Now, for me, that’s a different story. I don’t have the look. Well, I do have a look, but it’s not conducive to picking up women. Even if I were thin at this point, I still don’t think I would have what it takes to “work the floor.”

So what is the alternative for a guy like me? Well, I think exposure is the key. I need to get out more and make myself visible. Not necessarily with the intent to hit on women, but to simply mingle a little more on a social level.

Yes, I think I might be trying a little too hard. It’s been suggested by a few close friends that I try too hard. They stopped short of saying that I give out desperate vibes, but I read between the lines.

Isn’t it true that sometimes, the more you try, the harder it is to attract people – that goes for friends or romantic interests.

Some guys have great success with hitting directly on women because they have looks and confidence going for them. Although they are very forward, they don’t come off as being desperate. I, however, do come off as being desperate and it causes women to back off immediately. It’s human nature, I suppose.

So, I’m going to concentrate on simply getting out more and see what happens. In a way, it’s a relief not to have the usual “must meet women” mentality. The worse that could happen is that nothing happens, but at least I’m creating the opportunity. Sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself, pissed off at the hand I’ve been dealt, is not creating opportunity.

Let’s face it: The more I get out, the greater the chance that someone could walk into my life. And no, I’m not simply waiting for fate to throw someone into my arms, but I am waiting for a chance to meet and get to know someone.