I have a date

It looks like I have a date for Saturday afternoon. Well, not so much a formal date, more like coffee. – But hey, it’s a start.

Yes, I heard back from my dating site contact. Her name is Beth. She sent me a message on Monday saying that she was surprised to hear from me after all this time. She didn’t seem pissed off at the fact that I abruptly stopped my correspondence. In fact, she said that she hoped everything was ok with me. The world needs more people like her.

We decided that we would meet halfway, in a small town about 40 km from my home. It’s only going to be a casual coffee and a bit of conversation; nothing major. Also, we are meeting in the afternoon which is good because I find that the “day date” is less stressful; I don’t know why. I’ll most likely have to borrow a car. I think that showing up on a bus would send out the “loser” vibe.

So, I’ve got two days to calm down and try to do everything humanly possible to make a good first impression. From a physical standpoint, there is not much more I can do to improve things unless I can lose 30 pounds overnight. I’m wearing contacts, I just got my hair cut, I have some good, casual clothes I can wear, and I’m 20 pounds lighter than I was 3 months ago.

I don’t know why I’ve got this hang-up about my appearance. Really, I’m not grotesque or anything, it’s just that I have this nagging feeling that I’m not good-looking enough to have anyone desire me. Yes, major self-esteem issues, I know.

I am torturing myself over the fact that I didn’t send her my picture. If I had done so, this would all be genuine – all the cards would be on the table, so to speak. As it stands right now, there is a big uncertainty hanging over my head. Since she doesn’t know what I look like, there is still the real possibility that she might reject me, flat out.

I could probably save a lot of time and hassle if I just send her a recent photo. I don’t look as bad as I did 3 months ago, but I still have a long way to go. If I do that then get a message back that she’s not feeling well and has to cancel, at least I’ll be saving a trip.

So, that’s the question. Do I want to get rejected online before the date, or would I prefer to get turned down in person? Hmmm…