If you're a single guy, you've got a lot of choice in the dating world - when you play your cards right. Many guys make the mistake of “putting all their eggs in one basket” when it comes to romance and dating. Leaving yourself options is smart because you never know what's going to go wrong.
That was a hard lesson learned when I first started my online dating escapades. I would tend to get attached to one woman and ignore everyone else. This was true in the on-line and off-line world. I don't know what my problem was, but I had a hard time multitasking when it came to paying attention to more than one person at a time. More often than not, I regretted being faithful to one woman. Keep in mind, I'm only talking about dating here. If I was involved in a sexual relationship, I would certainly keep it exclusive.
I suppose dating immaturity has a lot to do with it. I was very inexperienced up until a few years ago, and if any woman paid attention to me, I would focus strictly on that person. What I learned very quickly was that things don't go according to plan most of the time, and I was left on my own several times.
Eventually, I started getting to know more than one person at a time. Not that I was stringing them along, it's just that I made it very clear that I wasn't going to get serious with anyone right away.
That had a very profound effect on my dating life. Once I made it clear that I didn't want a serious relationship and I wanted to keep things light, women started phoning more often and seemed to be much more eager to meet up than they were previously. I'll talk more about that in another post.
By not getting serious with one person, I was able to date different women and keep my options open. If I fell out with one, I would always have other options available.
Just a word of caution: I don't recommend that you string people along or try to burn the candle at both ends by carrying on a serious relationship with more than one person. This will never end well. You're much better off telling them that you want to keep things light and that you're both free to date other people.
Of course, the other advantage to this is that you discover who is right for you and who isn't. When you have no choices, you can sometimes make the mistake of getting serious with someone that's not right for you. For example: if you date five separate women in one month, you will quickly find out what you like and what you don't like. If you date someone exclusively, you won't have anyone to compare her to.
This is a mistake that most inexperienced guys make. You've heard the old saying about marrying the first girl you see. Sadly, this is true for many guys. They are literally throwing away their chance at happiness in return for a sure thing.
I was actually that guy for most of my life. I was clingy, possessive, jealous, and needy. Oh yeah, I was the whole package – lol.
I had no idea that I was capable of dating multiple women and having a choice of whom I wanted to be with. I always assumed that I should be thankful to at least have someone.