Online dating - is there still a chance?

My profile still sits on at least 10 online dating sites. Of those, my picture is on at least three, so I logged into a couple last night and started deleting. I was a little melancholy at the fact that all that effort was wasted. In a way, I was half expecting to see some responses, but there was nothing there but spam – 3 months worth.

I suppose what really hurt was the fact that I didn’t hear anything from the woman that gave me the brush-off last month after I drove almost 2 hours to meet her. I thought she might have, at least, given me an excuse; as feeble as that would have been. Yes, people can be cruel.

Oh well, life goes on.

As I was deleting the profiles, I realized that they were not very good at all. Not only were there no pictures, but the bios seemed very rushed and brief, the grammar was bad, there were spelling mistakes, and the lack of style made them painful to read. I compared mine to those from other members, and they didn’t measure up well at all. Some people really put a lot of work into creating a readable and interesting profile. Mine sounded like a lonely hearts ad from the sixties.

I couldn’t remember them being so bad, but I was, after all, conducting a social experiment of sorts. Deep down, I think I expected to get a poor response; therefore I didn’t waste much time slapping them together. It’s funny that I didn’t notice how poor they were at the time.

As I was deleting this trash I had posted, I noticed a very well written ad from a male looking for a female. You could tell that this guy spent a lot of time crafting a very compelling profile. It was well-written, and every question had been filled out in detail. This guy’s dating profile read fluidly from start to finish, and even though it was detailed, it was interesting. What woman would not have been compelled to write to this person?

To top it all off, the photo he submitted didn’t really give you a good look at him. It was partially silhouetted and taken from a distance, but it left an air of mystery in an artsy kind of way – very well done. The guy was obviously a genius. I could learn a lot from a dating site profile like that.

The most inspirational thing about reading his bio was that I could easily put together something like that, given enough time. The profile picture was especially interesting since that was something I considered custom made for my situation. Dark shadows and silhouettes are kind to me. That way I’d have a picture on all of my profiles. I’ve always said that people need to accentuate their positives. The bright, two dimensional, frame-filling, pasty faced photo, that I had the nerve to post, was not flattering in the least. For one thing, it was way too close, and way too detailed.

Now, I know I’ve sworn off dating sites for the time being, but it occurred to me that maybe the lack of success was due to the lack of effort and not me personally.

If this is true, then I have a renewed sense of purpose. I may still be able to work with the online dating sites after all.