Money isn't everything, but it helps

Getting a job has got to be one of the first things I do. Without money, I can’t make a move. I know I need to work on my appearance, but there is only so much I can do without the means to buy clothes and get new glasses or contacts, etc… Also, without money, it’s impossible for me to get out and socialize, or even ask anyone out.

Do I really need money? Is there any way that I might be able to pull this off without an income? Highly unlikely – I already have so many things working against me; I don’t have the luxury of not needing money.

Besides, I feel like I’m wasting my life and not progressing like others my own age. Some old school chums have gone on to become lawyers, accountants, and executives. I am ashamed of what I’ve done with my life so far, and it’s definitely not doing my self- esteem any favors.

Actually, I don’t know how I deteriorated to this point. Perhaps I’m suffering from depression and don’t realize it – or don’t want to acknowledge it.

But, it’s not like I have never had a job. In fact, I’ve got several years experience in computer systems. So I’m hoping that any potential employers will overlook the huge gap in my work history and hire me for my experience.

It’s funny how quickly society will condemn an unemployed person. I’m sure that my entire family thinks there is something really wrong with me. Also, I couldn’t imagine meeting a woman and asking her out, only to have her ditch me once she finds out I’m unemployed and live with my parents.

I need a job - badly.

Dating - perfectly matched couples

Being an unemployed bum can have its advantages. For instance, I spent the entire day just watching people – couples, in particular. I didn’t go so far as to take a notepad (how much of a geek do you think I am? Don’t answer that), but, nevertheless, I still managed to take in a lot of info.

It’s surprising how much goes on around us that we don’t notice – unless we are specifically looking for it.

Among my observations, I noticed that most people seem well suited for each other. It’s as if everyone knows what “level” they’re at socially, and choose a partner from that group. It’s hard to explain, but after a while, I noticed that I could fully understand why certain people are together. I did not see any mismatched couples at all. It’s like we all know our place.

Take the example of a beautiful woman walking with her boyfriend. I could see why she was with him. He was just the “type” that would have a woman like this. She would never be seen walking around on the arm of someone like me – it’s like some unwritten rule – it simply would not happen.

Another guy I observed waiting for his wife at the exit to the mall seemed ok looking, but very plain. I made a bet with myself as to what his wife would look like. Well, she wasn’t exactly what I expected, but still very much within this guy’s range – I was spot on.

And it wasn’t just one thing about these people either - It was their entire makeup. Of course there were the facial looks and body physique, but it was also a thousand other things – things that make each of us unique. It made me realize that there is a lot going on here – more than we can imagine.

It’s a combination of everything that determines our desirability and places us in one class or the other. Our persona is the sum of every single one of these characteristics. Some of us are lucky enough to end up in the desirable range, and some are not.

Keep in mind; I’m speaking in generalizations here. There are many women that I find attractive that don’t fit society’s typical mold for desirability.

Suddenly, I realized it’s quite possible that people are constantly classifying others, whether they are aware of it or not. I also realized that we humans seem to have a gift for picking up on someone’s true self in very short order.

This was not looking good for me.

People watching

I thought that a good way to begin my self-improvement endeavor would be to watch supposedly “successful” people operate. Who knows, maybe I can pick up a thing or two. At the very least, I should be able to get an idea of the best way to present myself.

The dating site experiment has served its purpose. At least I know where I am starting from. I suppose I knew all along that I would be starting in the basement, but there’s nothing like actually seeing it in real life.

I do have a list of things that I know I need to improve on, but I want to try this social experiment first. It’s funny how much goes on around us, and we don’t even notice. Observing others in public is no big deal. It’s something that is happening all the time – except now I plan to pay more attention.

So, starting today, I’m going to get out there and really observe what seems to work. I’ll start out with just a walk in the park, a visit to the mall, or a walk down Main Street. Later, I want to check out a local nightclub with a friend of mine.

Laying the ground-work

Well, even though I haven’t been posting much in the last week or so, I have been busy laying more of the ground-work for the challenge. I think the hardest part was finding a starting point. Where do I improve – and what will give me the biggest bang for my buck?

Now, self-improvement can be a life-long journey. I would venture to say that I could spend the rest of my life in the quest for perfection. However, the reality is that I am limited by what God gave me, and by the amount of time available. In other words, I don’t want to turn this into an obsession. Besides, who among us is perfect anyway? It’s our faults and imperfections that make us unique human beings.

Now, having said all that, I really do have a lot of work to do in order to make myself presentable. Keep in mind here, I’m not out to compete with all the studs of the world in trying to land the best looking woman in town, because I know my limitations. I know that self-improvement will only go so far.

However, because I’m starting from nothing, there is a lot of room for improvement – a lot of easy, simple things that will go a long way.

Among these are:

• Dieting/Exercising

• Changing my wardrobe

• Getting a job

• Cosmetic (glasses, new haircut)

Did I mention a personality change? Well, that’s going to be the tough one.

More dating site results

The results are finally in from the dating sites. If you don’t count the scammers (they are relentless), I got two genuine responses. That isn’t bad, really - considering the fact that most people will ignore you if you don’t fit their ideal profile.

The first response was from a 30 year-old “attached” woman that was just looking for friends. Wtf is that all about? Why would you be on a dating site “just looking for friends?” There are sites out there that specifically cater to people looking for friends.

The other response was from a very attractive 26 year old woman. She was kind enough, but told me in no uncertain terms that I was not her type and she wished me luck in my endeavors.

I also got the results back from the ratings sites. Let’s just say that I was in the bottom 20 percent. I could handle that, but are the cruel comments really necessary? It should bother me, but I’m used to it. I really wasn’t expecting anything more. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn’t being too hard on myself. The truth hurts, but it’s also an invaluable tool in establishing a realistic starting point.

The bottom line is that I got what I was after. The results are in and it’s not great. The positive thing is that there is only one way to go once you’ve hit rock-bottom, and that’s up.

I don’t anticipate any more responses – but you never know…